fever

I seriously have no idea how I got to be so lucky to get so sick. It’s taking all my energy just to write. My palms are sweating, and I am having aversion to touch. Though, the coldness from my laptop feels nice. I am also running fever for the first time today. Needless to say, I am sick as shit. At least my face isn’t on fire.

I got an interesting call from my friend, Alan, today. Apparently, some smack has been spoken about me in the office. WTF. It involves my being sick. Like wow. I just feel like people who need to talk about others when they are down are pathetic.

I had a period of nerves, but honestly… I just don’t care. They will all hang themselves. I am too sick and too exhausted to defend myself. I am hoping my boss steps in. I feel worst for her. I can handle criticism. I am already the poisonous bitch of the office. Oh well. My counterpart went from being a self-entitled “Queen” to “mom” to now refers to herself as the “Prom Queen.” Little does she know Prom Queens usually peak in high school, and I’ve seen far too many trying to regain the crown as they age. She will fall. As everyone grows up and matures around her, she will not. I had high hopes for her, but she failed– in a very big way.

I should be more nervous about all this… but I am not. It could just be denial. It could just be because I know she went too far this time. I don’t really know. I don’t really care. I just know I am running a fever, my blood hurts, and I feel like my body will give out at any second. The amount of drama in my work setting is disgusting and disturbing. Grow the fuck up, people! I am entirely too sick for this shit. If y’all gave crap, you would know how sick I truly am.

I feel for Alan. He’s been my loyal friend throughout. I call him my twin. He’s a fantastic soul. Sometimes a little misguided and overzealous, but he cares. He cares more than most people. Unfortunately, people resent him because he’s my “favorite.” No, he’s just real and kind and I respect him as a person and friend. I don’t know where the hate comes from. Are they jealous he knows me better than they do? Are they resentful because I trust him? Or are they just that immature? Whatever the reason, it’s a sad day for them. There is more to life than throwing shade at people and basing your existence on it.

Now… my other issue… I really wish this bitch would get back to me about these little kittens I want. I mean, logistics are still an issue. I am definitely not well enough to fly down. However, I can send my stupid ex down there or my oldest. Or fate could be nice and place a pair in my lap. That would be super awesome.

Meds are kicking in… more sleep needs to happen.

Nikki