Author Archives: Damsel Nikki

I had to stop what I was doing and just let out this memory of mine. I am listening to a “Divorced Dad Rock” station. It’s all my favorite alternative rock music from my early 20s. So, whoever the divorced dad was that made this, props to you, sir. We would get along well; wannaContinue reading “Memories of the old man”

When I woke up late this morning, the sun greeted me. Oops. I overslept. Though, what should I really be doing today? I have a long list of stuff to be done that just isn’t getting done. Like the laundry basket full of clothes that need to be put away, the bathroom remodel I keepContinue reading “Another glorious morning”

It’s 2023, and bitches… I am back! Blog land has been graced with my wonderfully neurotic presence yet again. It would seem I only emerge when I am off meds. Yay for us all! Seriously though, here I can just be me and not be deemed as too much or too little of anything. IContinue reading “It’s 2023…”

*** This was archived in my drafts from 2021. No idea when I actually wrote it. But the dog still loves me 🙂 Apparently, yesterday’s little meltdown took more out of me than I expected… I slept all of last night and most of today. I am still tired. I didn’t get a chance toContinue reading “Spilled Milk”

Someone rang the doorbell today. The first thought was please don’t be him. As much progress as I have been making, the idea of having to face him again still makes my heart hurt and my eyes flood with tears. I still miss him. I don’t want to miss him. I don’t long for himContinue reading “And still I shed tears”

As I am still trying to process all of this… I just heard the most chilling line of all time— “does he love his family or does the love the idea of them loving him?” It’s in regards to a show I just watched and was the end commentary to the finale. It got meContinue reading “Chilling realities”

Well if you are reading this, you officially survived 2020! Hats off to you! Seriously you should be proud, 2020 was one hell of a year for everyone in some way, shape or form! I don’t foresee the world magically changing over night just because we entered into a new year, but things will startContinue reading “Onward into the new year”

I am pretty well convinced the universe hates me. I can’t ever seem to catch a break. Everyday is some new challenge. Once one fiasco is over… I seem to walk right into another. People around me have come to believe I love drama, and I attract it wherever I go. The second part isContinue reading “Me vs the universe vs god”

Here we are a week later since my last post. Not much has changed. I am a little more alive, but also a little more unstable. My moods are still everywhere. The meds haven’t quite kicked in yet. I hate the meds!!! I still feel all kinds of emotions all the time. I also sometimesContinue reading “Still not okay”

I keep going from extreme sadness to anger to what if… I just keep cycling through the stages of grief. I cry randomly because I miss him. I want to hate him so I make myself angry. I remind myself what he did. He broke me. He lied to me. He left me. I wasn’tContinue reading “Stages of grief”